REALISM

One of the odd irregularities of believing in Christ is that the greatest realist in history was turned into the greatest idealist. Jesus’ realism was so amazing that believers did not know what to do with it. They knew they had to act on it or reject it but could not bring themselves to do either, so they found a way to do both. They learned a way to abide in Christ and continue in the old manner of living. He was made into an ideal; something that would be lived someday but not now. They satisfied a sense of loyalty to a higher calling while living in the realm of lower standards. Jesus was put on a cross of irrelevance for today but of significance for tomorrow.

Many have adopted abiding with Christ as an ideal, something beyond this life, operative now only in small ways. The result? Abundant life is limited and marginalized.

What is misunderstood is that this idealism is nothing more than concealed materialism; the present becomes divorced from the future. Abiding in Christ is relegated to a future hope and thought spiritual, while daily living remains present and controlled by the material.

Jesus was incredibly real, but people have made faith in him an ideal. When he said to love your neighbor as yourself, most made this a future goal, an ideal. But Jesus meant it to be real, to live like this now. He was telling us this is the only way that life will really work. If our lifestyle remains self-centered, we are committing collective and individual suicide, and the world falls apart from our failure to live out this truth. Sincere love for others can only begin with those who first love the God of sacrificial love.

Jesus also said we are to lose ourselves to find ourselves. This is not idealism; it is realism, one of the basics of real life. When we lose ourselves, abiding in Christ merges the present with the future and becomes realistic. Until believers humble themselves, the realism others must see is only idealized, and the world grows increasingly chaotic. The time is past due for lovers of God to live in real faith. He merged the present with the future and abiding in Christ demands we do the same.

“Lord, save us from any misguided ideals about faith that act like heroin, distorting reality and causing us to evade truth and responsibility.”

GIVE ME!

Matthew 14:1–11 (ESV): At that time Herod the tetrarch heard about the fame of Jesus, and he said to his servants, “This is John the Baptist. He has been raised from the dead; that is why these miraculous powers are at work in him.” For Herod had seized John and bound him and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because John had been saying to him, “It is not lawful for you to have her.” And though he wanted to put him to death, he feared the people, because they held him to be a prophet. But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company and pleased Herod, so that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. Prompted by her mother, she said, “Give me (emphasis mine) the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.” And the king was sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests, he commanded it to be given. He sent and had John beheaded in the prison, and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. 

Luke 15:11–20 (ESV): And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me (emphasis mine) the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father.

Allow me to share a story before delving into some reflections on these two passages of Scripture.

My wife and I wanted to establish a new church on the west side of a city where my denomination had not formed a congregation. Among other things, this included being a bi-vocational minister.

I was a substitute teacher at a local high school and befriended the vice-principle who was the athletic director. He discovered I had previously coached boys’ basketball.

Occasionally, the athletic director and I would golf together. While on a golf course one day, he asked if I would consider coaching a girls’ volleyball team? My oldest son played high school basketball in a northwest suburb of Chicago and my youngest son played volleyball at the same school. (I also had played both sports in my teen years.) Yet, I had never coached girls and was apprehensive. I agreed to attend an upcoming girls’ volleyball match and then decide. Watching the game, I noticed the girls were just as athletic and aggressive as my son’s volleyball team. The only difference was when the girls lost the match they cried; I had never seen boys cry when they lost. (“There’s no crying in [volleyball]!”; the movie, “A league of their own”)

When discussing with my wife his invitation to coach, she responded, “Well, you love the sport; think about it.” When I asked my two daughters what they thought about me coaching a girls’ team, my youngest daughter responded, “Dad, you raised two daughters. You can deal with a bunch of teenage girls.” With personal reservations, I told the athletic director I would give it a try.

Our two daughters

The first season was a nightmare, but the problem was with me. I used every tactic that helped turn boys’ basketball players into winning teams; the same tactics were a disaster in girls’ volleyball. By good fortune rather than by skillful coaching, the first season ended with the team winning more than half of their matches and the athletic director wanted me to continue coaching. I seriously doubted that I was cut out to coach girls.

During the off-season, I came across an article in a coaching magazine, written by a female coach, about effectively coaching girls. I studied every concept, revamped my methodology, and prepared for the next season. The team in the second season played 28 matches and won 25. Of the 3 they lost, the match went into the tiebreaking set and they only lost by a couple of points. The girls ended the season by winning the championship.

Championship Team 

One major difference in coaching boys and girls is that girls have a natural drive to please those they deeply admire, while boys primarily seek to promote themselves. Girls respond best when affirmed; boys respond best by ego-challenging criticism. When the boys messed up, I was direct and intense. I was brutally honest about their horrible execution of plays, and their minds quickly got back in the game. When the girls under-performed, I became subdued and silent. They knew they had disappointed me and wanted to regain my trust and respect. They made the necessary mental adjustments, intensified their efforts on the court, and achieved success. At a team meeting one day, a player said, “Coach, we hated it when you got quiet on the sidelines; we knew the practices were going to be harder the following week.” Both approaches got the needed results but were accomplished by utilizing their core genetic makeup. Girls are highly motivated but from a different focus and mindset.

The passages of Scripture in this blog are about two prodigals – a prodigal daughter and a prodigal son. Like all prodigals, they sought the same thing: “give me!” The focus of any prodigal is always themselves; “self” is the idol of choice.

Is it wrong to want to gain and acquire something personally beneficial? No! Yet in the prayer Jesus taught his disciples, he states that the correct posture is “give us”; others are to share in the blessings from those things given.

Prodigals, infatuated with greed, are only satisfied when the cost impacts others. Their joy is a joy of personal advantage, no matter the harm inflicted on others, even good and generous people. Their joy is a sick joy – wanting the head of a great person, even though they dislike the sight of it on a platter in front of them. Their joy is a sad joy – taking advantage of a benevolent person so they can live in debauchery. Prodigals are ruthless about achieving their selfish desires, and, to them, cruelty is a major part of the satisfaction.

Did the daughter really want a messy decapitated head on a tray? No, she wanted to attain greater admiration from her wicked mother. Did the son really want some nasty, smelly slop in a pig pen? No, he wanted to gain the entitlements of his righteous father. Yet a grotesque head and a gnawing stomach are the results of seeking self-centered admiration and chasing glory-seeking promotion.

Being raised by a bad mother, the prodigal daughter never recognized the poor condition of her heart. Being raised by a good father, the prodigal son turned around and went home. Prodigals have a choice if awakened about the truth of their aspirations. Yet, to bring them back to their senses something or someone must rouse them. Could that someone be you?

“Lord, prevent us from bowing to the idol of self and help us to live with right and true ambitions. Then may others benefit from the abundant blessings you give. Also, Lord, give us the courage to show the prodigals the road home, the way of real joy.”