Let no corrupting talk come out of
your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of
God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and
wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all
malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:29-32 ESV)
Growing up
in Seattle I sometimes came in from playing and opened the refrigerator,
wanting a cold drink. Milk was delivered from a diary farm and during the
summer months the dairyman offered an orange drink in milk bottles. My brother
and I called it “orange milk.” The sweet
beverage hit the spot and quenched my thirst.
Occasionally,
there was nothing in the refrigerator to drink. One time I noticed a plastic container
shaped like a lemon full of lemon extract. Thinking it may taste like lemonade,
I squeezed the contents straight into my mouth. The bitterness caused facial
contortions.
Life is
similar to the contents in that old refrigerator. Out of it comes sweet and
bitter times. Bitter experiences usually come without warning or explanation,
yet they define you. How do you respond to bitter moments?
“One dies
in full vigor, completely secure and at ease, his body well nourished, his
bones rich with marrow. Another man dies in bitterness of soul, never having
enjoyed anything good. Side by side they lie in the dust….” (Job 21:23-26) How
will you be remembered, as bitter or better?
Esau
experienced the bitter taste of losing his father’s blessing. He took a bitter
moment and converted it into bitterness toward his brother.
Israel
experienced the bitter taste of slavery in Egypt yet entered a land of milk and
honey. Bitter times shaped them for a sweet future.
The story
of Ruth is a story of love, dedication and devotion yet also tells about the
gall of bitterness. Naomi and her family go to the land of Moab, a poor decision,
and she suffers the loss of her husband and two sons. Naomi returns home and
the townspeople begin to murmur, “Is this Naomi? Look how God repaid her for
leaving.” She responds, “Don’t call me Naomi (meaning pleasant) but call me
Mara, meaning (bitter) for God has dealt bitterly with me.” A bitter experience
changed her identity to bitterness.
You cannot
prevent bitter times. They come to everyone. It is a willful choice, however,
to convert bitter times into bitterness. How do you want your years spent, in
joy or despair?
Reasons for
bitterness
Bitterness comes by looking wrongly at bitter
times. Romans 3:14 indicates
bitterness is an act of unrighteousness. Ephesians 4:31 suggests bitterness comes from deeds of the sinful nature.
Hebrews 12:15 states bitterness is a
willful act of coming short of God’s grace and is a major cause of trouble.
Job paints a picture of someone bitter: “Why
is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter soul, to those who
long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden
treasure, who are filled with gladness and rejoice when they reach the grave?”
The Bible records various causes of
bitterness:
Simon of Samaria shows jealousy leads to bitterness (Acts 8). He was influential and prominent, astounding
people. A simple man comes to
town with a simple message and later two fishermen come with Holy Spirit power.
Having lost notoriety and consumed with jealousy, he offers the power of money
in exchange for the power of God. The result was the bondage of sin prompting bitterness.
“But, if you harbor bitter envy and selfish
ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.” (James 3:14)
Job reveals slander can lead to bitterness. The most prized possession is your name; without it you have no identity.
He was accused unjustly by friends. The
slander of enemies does not hurt as much as the accusations of friends. He bitterly states to his accusers, “You’re adding
to my misery.”
Job also reveals prolonged ailments or physical suffering can lead to bitterness.
Physical pain causes feelings of unfairness.
A difficult and lingering illness impacts
attitudes.
Mordecai, in the book of Esther, reveals being wronged can lead to bitterness.
A letter was sent by the king of Persia
to kill all the Jews, a terrible injustice causing Mordecai to wail loudly and
bitterly.
Esau reveals a broken promise can lead to bitterness. His father promised a blessing. Esau became desperate for something unable to
be delivered due to circumstances beyond his dad’s control. Fathers sometimes fail to meet the
expectations of a child and many disappointed children have grown bitter.
The nation
of Israel reveals internal conflict or suffering
loss can lead to bitterness. The
tribe of Dan was almost completely annihilated by fellow countrymen. A bitter conflict and the agony of loss led
to bitterness.
Bitter times happen but a person chooses a
bitter heart.
Results of
bitterness
People filled with bitterness need
help seeing themselves and the Bible graphically describes them.
Job 3:20 reveals a bitter soul prefers death
to life. The person is like a vulture
waiting for a carcass to quit moving, ready to pounce and feed on it.
Job 7:11 reveals a bitter soul leads to chronic complaining. People tune out a
bitter voice because nothing wholesome is being said.
I met many wonderful people in Minnesota but did
not like living there. Taxes were unreasonable, winters too long, snow
drifts too big, wood ticks too plentiful, mosquitoes too hungry and summers too
muggy. On more than one occasion I complained. Someone eventually asked,
“What do you like about the place?” I realized I had become a chronic
complainer and needed to change.
Job 10:1 reveals a bitter soul loathes their
life; bitter people do not like what they
have become. They see themselves as ugly, which is a fairly accurate
description. Happiness is impossible in a bitter soul. Happiness and
bitterness are incompatible.
Isaiah 38:15 reveals a bitter soul wanders aimlessly. Vision is lost
and initiative is lacking. There are no future goals when blinded by
past failings.
Isaiah 38:17 reveals a bitter soul lives in the pit of nothingness. A
bitter person is of little importance, a nobody. They end up wallowing
in a pit like a pig instead of soaring in the sky like an eagle.
Ezekiel 27:31 reveals a bitter soul lives in a perpetual state of mourning.
The person might as well as be wearing black. Everything about them
is advertising deadly bitterness.
Proverbs 14:10 reveals a bitter soul has no room for joy. God’s people
experience seasons of refreshing but bitter people do not comprehend the moment,
the blessing is there but they are blind to it.
The Bible states bitterness is similar to a
bitter herb. Becoming bitter is described as becoming bitter as
wormwood. The imagery is of someone willfully placing themselves in a
wasted and deserted place where wormwood grows. People consumed with bitterness
place themselves on the shelf of life,
living becomes suspended.
Release of bitterness
If you are consumed with bitterness here are
a few recovery steps.
Get
to the end of your rope quickly. “To the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.” (Proverbs 27:7) When
Naomi could do nothing but go home, solutions began to come. When the prodigal
hit bottom, he went back to the father. When a bitter person has no
place to go and hungers to become different, God is able to restore. Get
famished for God!
Bring
the complaint to God. When
Mordecai felt wronged “he wailed loudly and bitterly.” Human nature
cannot contain the venom of bitterness. Get it out! Emotions must become
empty of the pain. Open the emotional wound and drain out the agonizing
puss. Release the tension built up by bitterness, even if it requires
being done loudly.
Receive
the tenderizing touch of the Holy Spirit. Replace bitterness with forgiveness. “Get
rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every
form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each
other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
(Ephesians 4:31, 32) Job repented of bitterness but the cleansing was
complete when he gave an offering of forgiveness for his accusers. “After
Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him
twice as much as he had before.” (Job 42:10) Bitterness ends and goodness
follows when you forgive those misrepresenting you.
Myrrh was one of the gifts given at the birth
of Jesus, having a bitter taste but a sweet fragrance. When you taste
bitter experiences, in Christ you can give off a sweet aroma.
Application
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